Saturday, September 08, 2007

Breaking news - Mike Hart declares for NFL draft, makes decision retroactive to February

(AP) Ann Arbor, Michigan - Earlier this afternoon, University of Michigan Senior running back Mike Hart declared his intention to turn pro and enter the NFL draft. Hart also declared that his decision is retroactive to February of 2007 and demanded that the NFL draft be recreated so he can begin his professional career on Sunday.

Hart made the hasty announcement shortly after the Wolverines lost their fourth straight game, 39-7 against the Oregon Ducks. Early speculation is that Hart is angry with his team, which was expected to contend for the National Championship a mere 8 days ago.

"Like most Michigan fans, Mike Hart wants to just forget that the first two games of the season ever happened," said Hart. "And since those games never happened for Mike Hart, then Mike Hart is going to turn pro before his senior season begins."

Hart made the decision to stay at Michigan following last year's back-to-back defeats to Ohio State and USC, and he claimed he wanted to bring a national title to Ann Arbor. Staying at Michigan along with Hart were senior quarterback Chad Henne and senior lineman Jake Long, and many experts believed that the highly-touted trio would make a strong run for college football's championship.

Those same experts are now baffled by Hart's refusal to accept reality.

"No matter how bad Michigan players and fans feel right now, there's simply no precedent to enter an NFL draft that took place four months in the past," said Mitch Albom, widely recognized as the state of Michigan's finest sportswriter. "It's actually asinine to even suggest that the National Football League would have a do-over to appease one disgruntled college player. It actually kind of scares me about Hart's mental state if he believes that the entire NFL could be re-adjusted just for him."

However, the idea was not out-of-bounds for every expert. Detroit Lions President and CEO Matt Millen has already invited Hart to what he calls "Training Camp 2.0". Millen has already begun informing his players that if the Lions draft Hart, he will start camp all over again, and that the Lions will "immediately be in contention for the Super Bowl." Shortly after Millen's comments, six additional websites devoted to firing Millen sprung up on the internet.

Michigan's first two games, despite ending up in the loss column, were exemplary for Hart. The senior rushed for a combined 313 yards and three touchdowns, putting him near the top for early Heisman Trophy voting. However, the lack of defense and a potentially serious injury to Henne have given Hart pause to what was supposed to be a season of glory. Hart does not appear to be as devoted to Michigan as he was just two weeks ago.

"It's time to recognize," said Hart. "H-2-0 is going to go H-2-pro."

With or without Hart, Michigan hosts Notre Dame on Saturday at 330pm.

1 comment:

MaliBuckeye said...

Very nice... maybe he'll end up at Detroit and continue the legacy.

Off topic-
Anyone going to the game in Seattle? My wife and I are looking for folks to tailgate with...

Go Bucks~